Astronomy Job Ads
We are seeking a highly qualified candidate to examine and describe, both observationally and theoretically, the entire known universe. The ideal candidate will launch a vigorous research program in multiple fields of theoretical astrophysical research, complemented by a strong observational program for theory verification. The ideal candidate will also involve students at all levels, postdocs, and fellow faculty members, and will teach a minimum of 15 undergraduate contact hours as well as 12 graduate contact hours per semester. They will also show initiative and leadership in directing the department's three observatories and numerous outreach programs. In addition, the ideal candidate will enthusiastically serve on all departmental committees and panels. The candidate will also be expected to work under various physical extremes, and must pass a rigorous physical examination before an offer can be made. Funding will be available to cover the page charges of the candidates 2-3 dozen papers per year, and salary is commensurate with experience, with salary options ranging from that of a night-shift grave digger to that of a McDonald's managerial position.
Those with only demigod status need not apply.